Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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