You don't have asthma, your pregnant
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
