naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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