TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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