I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
