god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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