I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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