I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
