I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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