Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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