woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
