apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
