me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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