Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
