I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
