So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
