Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
