how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
