Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
