I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
