Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
