The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
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Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
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Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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