NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
