So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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