Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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