I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Randomize
