clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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