life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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