U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
