Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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