I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?