Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i think my cat just said my name.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
