i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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