Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Randomize
