Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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