The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize
