I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
