I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
