I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
