Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
