Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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