i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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