i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
