I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
