Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
