so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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