i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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