dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
