It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
