i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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