that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
