Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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