i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
