i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm both gender and math confused
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
