I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
