I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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