The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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