Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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