worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
