you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
