Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
