took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
