This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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