I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
