I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
