quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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