i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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