imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
