Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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