I cockslap morals
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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