It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize