drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize