he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
