Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
