Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
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it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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