Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
