Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
