nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
