I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
